This made Caitlin sad.  I think its kinda funny

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2009/07/16/bush.gay.penguins.kron?iref=videosearch

My parents found this.  I died laughing.

1) Made a connection which clarified some calculus I'd learned years earlier.

We learned about Linear Transformations today in my upper level Linear Algebra class.  This explains a great many things such as why differentiation "distributes" over addition.  I now understand that concept much clearer.  This is happening more and more frequently as I progress in my major.  Things that I took for granted or just memorized before are starting to make sense and interrelate.  I find I derive the solutions much more often than memorizing them.  This does, however, bring up the question of why some of these concepts are not taught sooner.  I wish I could go back and re-take every math class I've taken since Algebra I.  I think I would seriously benefit from this, and enjoy them much more.  I don't think I would dislike them at all now.

2) I rescued a wish.

While reading my book outside of the Math Emporium (Neverwhere, by Niel Gaiman) a little boy went up to the waterfountain to throw a penny in that his mom gave him.  He missed (by a large margin) and could not find his penny.  He left looking dissapointed.  I didn't point out that I saw where it landed, fearing the onset of "a stranger is talking to me.  Help!" instance.  But when I got up to go in to work, I picked up the penny and threw it in, wishing for his wish to come true.  I hope that redeems me in some way.

3) Planned something important.

I won't tell what this is yet.  But it was done.

10 things you wish you could say to 10 different people right now (don't list names)

1. I'm no longer the nervous little kid I was in high school, but sometimes when I see you for the first time after not seeing you for a while, I just stop thinking, and can't help but stare.
2. I feel like I'm loosing touch with you as a friend
3. (name removed) **overhead point**
4. I know you're going to look down on us all one day.  Keep it up.
5. If one could look hard enough, they would see your advice in every major decision I've made.
6. I value your advice just as much as number 5 above.  You two help keep me grounded when I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing here.
7. I know you love traveling, but I'm going to be selfish for a moment and ask you to stay home.  I'm terrified that I won't get to see you come home one more time.
8.  Don't you see what you're doing to your family?
9. Don't you see what you're doing to your family? (this is not a mistake, there are two people that need this slapped in their faces)
10. I've been upset and mad at our before, and still sometimes do get upset, but when people tell me to stand up and say something to you, I remember those times you've broken down.  I will never stand up to you like that because I don't think I could face that.


Nine things about yourself.
1. I love learning languages.  They're difficult, but fun.
2. I miss making music.
3. I read best in the early morning.
4. I write best in the early morning.
5. I love the smallness of Blacksburg
6. Reading is one of my absolutely favorite things.
7. I think I look better in glasses.
8. One day, I would like to write a book.
9. I'm a hermit-y loner.


Eight ways to win your heart:
1. Apple pie.
2. Don't push me unless you're willing to deal with the consequences.  I usually don't push back, but when I do, it can be a deal breaker.
3. Come to dinner promptly when I cook it.  I hate when I spend time making food for someone, and then they say "hold on a sec" until its cold. I didn't say "hold on a sec" when you were hungry.
4. Tell me when I'm tired or grumpy.  Sometimes I still need a nap.
5. Don't be offended if I tell you you're being grumpy.  Take it as an offer to take a nap with me.
6. Make me something.  Its much harder than buying something.
7. Be open to discussion.  I like to talk about things, including tricky topics.
8. Help me when I need help, even if I don't seem to want it.


Seven things that cross your mind a lot:
1. Cait
2. My to-do list
3. What my next meal-plan is.
4. Talent speccs
5. Where Cait's phone and keys are. (she looses them a lot)
6. The book I'm reading.
7. WoW


Six things you regret.
I'm happy where I'm at now, and wouldn't change a thing.

Five turn offs
1. Being always right
2. Being too planned (go with the flow!)
3. Preaching.
4. Making fun of my pickiness.
5. Katchup.


Four turn ons
1. A good smile and laugh
2. Openness.
3. appreciation for my foods
4. WoW-playing :P

Three smilies that describe your life
1. :P
2. -_-
3. o.O

Two things you want to do before you die
1. Have a puppy.
2. Write a book.

One confession
1. I am constantly worrying about what adults think of me.  Teachers, employers, parents, etc.  I try to be extremely humble, and I think I get walked-over because of it.

Recently I've been spending time thinking about how poorly Math is taught.  To give you some perspective, this usually occurs when I'm in class and should otherwise be paying attention, specifically when my Modern Algebra teacher goes off on some tangent (math puns intended) about how we can make a field out of real numbers.

I am by no means qualified to judge our education system, but with the power of the internet, I have found that there are some "experts" on my side. 

To many people, including myself, math is confusing.  Or at least parts of it are.  I remember hating algebra with a strong passion.  Now basic algebra that is taught in high school comes as second nature.  Calculus was never something I hated, but it was never easy either.  Geometry is the last math I remember really enjoying before moving on to college.

I think part of what is frustrating about it is that even after hours and hours of study about something like, say, factorization, you still feel like a baby with a fake pick-axe tinking away at some huge mountain.  Every once in a while you manage to take of some sliver of knowledge so you can say "ooh, I know this!"

But years later, that sliver of knowledge comes back to haunt you.  If you're lucky, you still remember it (and likely you've been taking math classes every year since then.)  But even then, some PhD professor will say "Ha, that was only half the story.  You see, you were tinking at the tip of the iceberg.  Here's whats really going on!"

I'm not sure where I'm going with this, but I'm going to admit to some things:

1)  Math is not always easy for Math majors.

Some parts of math (like statistics) are just not intuitive.  We forget stuff too, stupid logarithmic laws (which are not stupid) and trig function (also not stupid, but annoying.)  There's just too much to remember all of it at once, which leads me to my second point


2)  We're still just tinking away.

I'm a third year Math major, taking pretty high up classes, and I've only got some thirty credits left after this year; two easy 15-credit semesters.  I'm still tinking away.  I still don't understand a lot of what my teacher says, but every once in a while, I get that sliver.  This weeks sliver was why 0 * ( a + b ) = 0.  Not that it equals zero, or "by some property with an impressive name," but the basic, arithmatic proof.  I'd taken it for granted before.


3)  Math is best learned in hindsight.

At least for now.  Often times I struggle through a course, mostly understanding but still confused about the material, and at some point (hopefully before the end of the semester) I say "aha!" and suddenly understand.  Sometimes this comes years later (like my above arithmatic example).  We teach how to apply math, not why it makes sense.  And I think we suffer for it.


4)  Arithmatic is only a small portion of math.

So is calculus.  Similar to how going up to a French language major and saying "parley vew fransay" might make them cringe, we cringe when people say "I'm good at math!  Look at this calculus."  No one is good at math.  They are good at calculus, or statstics, or boolean algebra, non-euclidean geomegry, or at how to make doughnuts out of numberlines (one of my favorite slivers I've gained so far.)  Math is big.  People are good at parts, which often overlap, but sometimes don't.



Class is starting up, so I've gotta run, but thats my current two bits.

In case any of you were wondering, getting your car towed sucks.  Out loud.

Things I didn't know:

a) Apparently I'm a Zubat.  Yes, the pokeman.  Because they can't see.  They're blind.  So am I for not seeing the handicap sign.
b) You have to pay for towing fees in cash.  And they don't always let you know how much it is before you get there.  So have fun withdrawing ambiguous amounts of cash before going to pick up your car!
c) Towing lots tend to be in shady areas.  I mean like, for all I know (had I not called the police to confirm my suspicions) someone could have stolen my car and just been keeping it for ransom.  It was that kind of area.
d) Arbey's milkshakes help make you feel better, but only a little.
e) I have better friends than I thought.  Thank you Ben, even though you don't read this.  You made this much less hellish than it could have been.
f) Thank you Caitlin for holding me together, even when you're not feeling too great yourself.

I got my car back, but I'm still sick with allergies (I hope that's all this is.)  I have a test tomorrow morning, which I havn't studied for due to car retrieval.  But I made it through tonight.  The rest I'll deal with as it comes.

Again, thanks everyone who helped me out tonight.  It was a rough one.

CANDY!

That's the secret of the leasing office for my apartment at Tech.  They get you to pay the rent by giving you a piece of candy every time you come.  I had a Milky way for paying my September rent.  That was an expensive candy bar.

But it was delicious.  So I'll pay next month on time too.

Bluetooth enabled roomba + wiimote + mario kart.

Terrifying? or awesome.

'I saw a woman from the rescue squad rushing out of Norris with blood all over her scrubs, and thought, "She must be freezing." The blood just didn’t register. I saw someone being loaded into an ambulance on a stretcher - and then ten more ambulances lining up on the street. “Why so many?” I wondered.'

I'm not normally one for sharing my stories about "I remember that day..."  I tried for a while after September 11th.  But I soon realized that everyone had a story.  I already knew mine, its much more interesting to hear theirs.  And while events like these effect everyone, I knew my version of the story wasn't particularly interesting.

The selection above is a piece of a story from one of my professors at Tech.  That professor wrote their account of April 16th by request.  They had a unique vantage point: right next to the building where the shootings took place, through the window that overlooked the entire building and the space around it.  Parts of it sound the same as other stories.  The disbelief and the "I was right at this spot, I remember it exactly" parts.  Thats the part we all experienced.  But when I read this, this one little section, it hit like none of the camera clips or cell phone videos could.  I know what Norris looks like, I can mentally PhotoShop in some police officers from various video games and I remember people milling about in confusion on the drill field.  I can even picture bloody scrubs from TV medical-drama shows.  But two phrases in there nearly make me fall apart.  "Freezing."  "Why so many?"

I didn't know anyone that got injured or shot.  I didn't even know anyone in the building.  Everyone I know got out fine from that day.  But I remember thinking "why so many sirens?"

I feel kind of bad.  I am sick of hearing about it, I'm sick of media people on campus, and I'm sick of teachers talking about it.  But I want to thank the one who said this, because it's what I needed to get through this Wednesday.  And so I'll try my best to not dismiss the programs Tech is putting on for the students, or get angry at the swarms of away messages that will be put up about it.  I might still get angry at times.  I have a hard time accepting the messages of "We're still praying" and "We're all Hokies today" when I don't even feel these things, and I'm SUPPOSED to be.  I just hope everyone hears what they need to before the week is out.


Blah.  I don't know what that post turned into.  But in any case, it was a good story.  And thank you professor.